新樂宮 has the cheapest rice plates. $3.50 includes a huge vat of free soup, the dish you ordered, and a large barrel of rice that you can't possibly finish. The portions, of course, are much more reasonable if you have two or more people, but this day I was by myself.
I was eating by myself because I'd walked out of the portable lecture hall that is my father's car. It's quite the torture device, really. We start on a long journey, and soon the lecture starts. Today is the lesson on change. You must be flexible in life. Always changing. That's how you can be a better person. Like now. Some people go all the way down Pine Street, all the way to the end, then turn down Masonic. But now, see, I'm turning at Gough, before we get to Masonic. Some people don't know, and they get stuck in traffic at Masonic, he explains, as we get backed up behind a red light. Today, fish. Tomorrow, we'll have chicken. Always changing. Today, bok choy. Tomorrow, spinach. Don't always eat the same thing every day. Always changing. People who don't change are backwards. Like you Chinese people. Not willing to change. Always stuck in the past. That's why Chinese people are stupid and backwards. You must change all the time...
The one mistake that I always make when dealing with my father is to attempt to have normal conversation with him. Everyone else has enough sense to shut-up-and-let-him-do-his-thing-and-then-we-won't-have-to-listen-to-him-anymore. If you try to argue with him, he'll argue right back at you until you agree with him, which usually happens after you've become too tired to disagree, tiredness increasing exponentially with time.
Today, he's using tactic number 1. You want to talk? he says. Let's talk. Talking is important. I want to listen to your opinion. Let's take some time to talk, right now... We approach, but have not quite yet reached, our destination. He finds a convenient place to park. Moving lecture hall is now stationary. This is the part where I walk out and tell them to go eat lunch without me. It's just my dad and my grandma in the car now. It's OK, he doesn't lecture her. He just yells at her.